Amber Heard and Odette Yustman are on a bicycle trip through Argentina. Amber Heard is the more responsible one. Odette Yustman has made her passport into an "assport" with a cleverly placed sticker. Who's in more danger of being taken? Amber Heard is more polite. Odette Yustman is whiny. At the bar, Amber Heard is shy, while Odette Yustman sings the Divynls hit "I Touch Myself" for the locals - and Karl Urban who happens to be there. Then.....
SHE GETS TAKEN!
Let this be a lesson, dumb Americans. Don't be a dumb American. You're not nearly as cute, funny, or interesting as your bestie says you are. Sometimes you're completely annoying. You are in someone else's country, and you are annoying the ENTIRE country with your braying stupidity. Guess what happens next? You get took.
Which leaves your bff having to hunt the countryside for you with strange Karl Urban, and he might be BAD! You are not a good friend, dumb American. Now you've pissed off the only person in the entire country who is looking for you. That's selfish. And if you thought for a second how all the people at home on their couches would feel when they watch your friend going from one badly set up "suspense" moment to another, you might think twice about being the center of attention. Because through your dumb Americanness, you have managed to alienate everyone in Argentina and America. No one cares if you're found. Not me, not my girlfriend, not Amber Heard, or even sketchy Karl Urban. It's a good thing your bicycle adventure was shot extremely well, because if it had looked like a regular DTV movie, I might have just turned it off right away....or at least after all the bikini parts....but you get what I'm saying.
It's a good looking, dumb movie about good looking, dumb Americans getting what they deserve from native Spanish speaking people. I don't feel bad for them and neither should you. When will I learn that DTV movies aren't that good? Oh well, maybe next time....
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