The Devil's Sword 1984 Ratno Timoer

Let's say that you were a holy man meditating on a mountain top, when suddenly a meteor shot by overhead and landed not far from where you sat....What would you do?  You'd make a sword out of it so Barry Prima could go kick some ass, that's what!  Wait, who's Barry Prima, you ask?  Barry Prima is the number one Indonesian action film star of the 1980's!  How do you not know that?  It's a good thing I'm writing this, so you won't seem so ignorant at bar trivia next time.  You're welcome.

In this movie, that guy over there plays a warrior named Mandala.  Mandala comes upon a village that is being terrorized by the Invisible Crocodile Queen who lives in the nearby lake.  It seems that his fellow warrior pupil from long ago, Banyujaga, is working for the Crocodile Queen and gathering men to satisfy her insatiable lust.  The guy he's after just got married, but the Queen wants him anyway.  This leads to a huge fight in the village that Mandala helps out with.

Banyujaga gets what he came for, and Mandala realizes he must put a stop to the Invisible Crocodile Queen once and for all.  This leads to lots of bad special effects and speeded up kung fu fights.  Just when it's becoming unbearable, the flying guillotine makes an appearace.  You know the flying guillotine - it's the hat shaped object on a chain that has blades on the inside.  You throw it on to someone's head, pull back on the chain, and Bingo!  Off with his or her head.  Every movie it's in is a better movie for it.

While the Crocodile Queen is busy having her orgies, Mandala and the jilted bride from earlier fight through hordes of cheaply costumed Crocodile Men, head to the Batcave (I'm not kidding) and retrieve the Devil Sword.  Will Mandala be able to withstand the Crocodile Queen's lust spell?  Why does everything in her lair look like a bad Prince video?  Why is the sword called the Devil's Sword?  You'll just have to fast forward to the end to find out!

The DVD comes with trailers and essays on the film, plus the most uncomfrotable on camera interview I've ever seen/  It's a sit-down at a cafe with Barry Prima and he's either strung out on something or agoraphobic.  It's fascinating and painful at the same time.