13 Assassins 2010 Takashi Miike

Look at that poster.  The movie's called 13 Assassins, but for some reason you only get to see one of them on the poster.  To be fair, he is the star of the movie and the head of the 13 assassins, but still... whatever, that  poster is awesome.

So is this movie.  It's a remake of an old samurai film from 1963, also called 13 Assassins.  You don't need to know that to enjoy this movie, though.  If you've seen Seven Samurai, you'll be fine with this movie.  If you haven't seen Seven Samurai, shame on you.  How could you call yourself a movie fan or a well rounded individual, or even a good person if you've spent all this time on Earth and not had 3 and 1/2 hours to spend watching one of the all time great films?  Really, how could you?  Go watch it now. Be a better person.

In this movie, the Shogun's brother is a murdering psychopath. He's also about to make his yearly pilgrimage from the capital of Edo to his home prefecture.  One of the Shogun's advisors hires a samurai played by Koji Yakusho (Babel) to put together a team of samurai (the plural is the same as the singular like moose or deer, grammar fanatics) to assassinate this guy on his way home.  A few of the assassins have very similar characteristics to the samurai in Seven Samurai, but so what?  They copied the best ones, so it was nice to see them again.

That's the setup, and the second half of the film is all about the battle.  No, really.  It goes on for almost an hour.  Which is fine.  The only problem I had with that was that some of the 13 assassins didn't become memorable, and they just sorta blended together.  In fact, there were parts of the final battle which reminded me quite a bit of Alien 3 ( Door 7! Closed!!).  All that is really minor, since it just gives me a reason to watch the film again and again.

Probably the main reason I liked the film so much is that it's a return to the old chanbara samurai films.  The samurai films of the last 5 or 6 years were all very slow and arty, full of feelings and deep thoughts, but not much swordfighting.  I was getting pretty tired of movies about a lowly samurai who discovers his true strength through the love of a good (reformed prostitute) woman - Hello, Twilight Samurai!  In this one, they get hired to go kick some ass, and they go kick some ass.  That's their job.  If they have to cut someone's head off, they do it.  If they have to sacrifice themselves for the greater good, they do it.  No discussion needed.  But this movie is far from mindless - it's just a quality action film.  With swords.  And explosions.  Oh, and a really interesting reference to Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus.  Seriously, how much more of a recommendation do you need?  This movie kicks ass!  See it now!