I'm sort of fascinated by Nicolas Cage and his desperate need to pay off the IRS and not be broke. He seems to accept any role offered to him, and because he says yes, some really iffy movies get made. Sometimes they're awesome - Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans - sometimes they're awesome trash - Drive Angry - and sometimes they're just trash. This joins Knowing in the trash pile.
Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman play buddies in the Crusades. Before every battle, they make a bet on who will kill the most infidels. Whoever comes up short has to pay the bar tab that night. Sounds fair. Then Nicolas Cage discovers that -oh my god- they kill women and children too in this Crusade thing! That's not fair at all, so the two buddies decide to quit this whole Crusade bag and hit the road.
Since the Church is like the mob - once you're out, they pull you back in - Nic and Ron get blackmailed into pulling one last job, and then they're out for good. This time they have to escort a team of religious folks who are taking a witch to an abbey to be burned at the stake.
Things don't turn out well for most of the people involved, but honestly, I kind of tuned out at this point. And I didn't miss anything. I mean, I saw when characters died, and I even correctly guessed how and when certain characters would go, but I just didn't care. At all. There's nothing worse than a bad Nicolas Cage movie that's also boring. It's not even fun bad. It's just lame.
Pay your bills, buddy. At least you'll be able to stop making movies like this one.
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