Blood Brothers 1973 Chang Cheh

Here we go, folks - it's Iron Triangle time again!  The holy kung fu movie trinity of Director Chang Cheh and actors Ti Lung and David Chiang are at it once more, and this time they brought along Chen Kuan Tai as their Plus One.  This time around, not only do lucky viewers get a history lesson, but a valuable life lesson as well.

Chang Wen-Hsiang (David Chiang) and Huang Chung (Chen Kuan Tai) are bandits ekeing out an existence sticking up travelers who pass by their stretch of road.  As you might have surmised by their last names (remember kids - last name comes first in China!) they're not brothers, but blood brothers who've taken an oath to stick by each other through thick and thin.  Huang Chung is also married to the lovely Mi-lan ( Li Ching), but the three of them live together happily.

Then one day, the bandit brothers come across Ma Hsin-yi (Ti Lung) on his way somewhere important.  He looks fancy and he's alone, so it's stick-up time!  Not so fast!  Seems like Ma Hsin-yi is quite the martial artist!  He takes on both of them and fights to a draw.  Everyone is mutually impressed with each other - so much so that Ma asks Chang, Hung, and his wife to join him in ridding the countryside of the Long Hairs.  Since this movie is based on real life and the main characters were all really real, it helps to know a little history:


This movie takes place during the Taiping Rebellion.  From 1850 to 1864, a rebellion was led against the ruling Qing Dynasty by a man named Hong Xiuquan.  He had converted to Christianity, and believed himself to be the reincarnated brother of Jesus.  He established the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom at Nanjing in southern China.  He sought to replace Buddhism, Confucianism, and folk religion with a form of Christianity.  At it's height, there were around 30 million people in the Heavenly Kingdom.  They were called Long Hairs, because at that time the only legal way you could wear your hair was in a queue (a single long braind down your back), but the rebels didn't do that, so they were crushed.  Not just for that, but still....


Since this movie opens with David Chiang being led away in chains, and people yelling that Ma Hsin-Yi has just been assasinated, it's not too much of a stretch to figure out just what becomes of these blood brothers and their unbreakable bond.  Most of the movie is in flashback, while David Chiang recounts just why he did what he did.  This is where the valuable life lesson comes into play.  If you must learn only one thing from this movie (but really, you should also look into the Taiping Rebellion - it's really interesting), it's this:  Bro's Before Ho's.  Seriously.  And I do mean Seriously.

I gotta admit, it was a little strange to see a woman with such a big part in a Chang Cheh movie.  He's notorious for hating women, or at least relegating them to extremely minor roles.  I kept wondering when something horrible would happen to her ( Not for any personal reasons, you understand.  It's a Chang Cheh movie.  That stuff always happens in a Chang Cheh movie!) and then I finally had my "OOOH!" moment.  He seems to be saying, "You want me to put a woman in my movies?   And you want me to make her an actual character?  Fine.  See what happens?  Are you happy now?"  Then we get what we asked for....in spades.

It's also worth noting that John Woo was an assistant director on this film.  If you've seen John Woo's movies, it's all there.  Slow motion deaths, slow motion male bonding ( I think his experience on this film greatly influenced his Bullet In the Head.  If you can find that movie, watch it now!) and slow motion rolling down hills for extended periods of time.  Ok, that last one doesn't happen in his movies so much, but it happens here enough to never have to see it again.  There aren't any doves, though.  That's a plus.

Blood Brothers has finally been released on DVD here in the US by Dragon Dynasty.  There's not much to say about the DVD other than, well, it exists.  The picture looks good, but the subtitle translation is horrible - almost as bad as the old VHS bootlegs of Hong Kong movies in the 80's.  There is an English Dub track, but I stay away from those.  Other than that, you get nothing and are forced to like it.  This movie kicks ass, so at least it's a fair trade.

Silent Scream 1980 Denny Harris

Aren't slasher movies great?  Maybe it's because I grew up in the '80's that I have such fond memories of those movies, the Friday the 13ths and Nightmare on Elm Streets that came out every year like clockwork, and then played continuously on HBO and Cinemax for years afterward.  I even love Happy Birthday to Me and April Fool's Day.  I'll watch them all, no matter what.  A few years ago, I saw a trailer for this movie on one of the 42nd Street Forever compilations (love the commentary) and I knew I had to see this.  Thanks to Netflix Instant, now I have.

This slasher movie doesn't have a holiday theme like so many of them do.  It's just about 4 college kids who are renting rooms from a creepy lady and her creepy son.  There's two boys and two girls, and they pair off fairly quickly ( the first night there, in fact).  After a night of drinking and a walk on the beach to their new house, one of them is killed.  That brings in the cops.  Here are the cops:

That's Avery Schreiber in the first photo.  You may remember him from such terrifying things as The Muppet Show and Love, American Style.  Both of these things make him the perfect choice for a hardbitten, no nonsense cop.  Here - look at him again....

Nope, I don't see it either....

The other guy is Cameron Mitchell.  He was an American actor who was stuck on TV, so he went to Italy and got tons of roles in Spaghetti Westerns and Giallos.  But he came back to America for this movie, and we are all better for it.

Anyway, after I got over having the least cop-like actors ever acting like the least cop-like cops ever, the movie got pretty good.  One of the characters, after the first murder on the beach, even says to another character, "Hey, you wanna go swimming?"

At which point the other character says, "You wanna go swimming?  Even with the murder that just happened?"

Then we get the classic comeback, "Hey, I moved into this house because it was on the beach.  I'm not gonna waste it!"

And then they go swimming....near where their friend was just murdered less than twelve hours earlier.....Awesome.

But then just when you think it's going to become completely predictable and boring, Silent Scream  throws in a few curveballs which totally make it worth your time.  You won't be able to figure it out right away, and it even serves up a little Nazi themed repression out of left field.  Basically, it goes a little batshit crazy towards the end, but in a good way.  You should definitely check it out.

Limitless 2011 Neil Burger

See if you can wrap your head around this premise:  Guy down on his luck starts taking drugs, feels unstoppable and invincible, has a good few months and then starts the downward spiral that always happens in movies about guys (or girls) who take drugs.  Now, instead of a run of the mill drug like cocaine or heroin, imagine for a minute a more science fiction-y drug that allows you to use all of your brain.....and there you have Limitless.

It wasn't marketed as a drug movie - but it definitely is.  That's not a bad thing, though.  Drug movies can be entertaining if done well.  No one's gonna say Requiem for a Dream isn't a great movie.  Now Limitless isn't in the same league as that film, but it's not trying to be.  It really is just a slightly science fiction-y take on your standard American drug drama.

Bradley Cooper is the loser who starts winning thanks to his little pills.  Robert De Niro is the financial tycoon who takes an interest in his theories regarding the stock market.  There's also a Russian loan shark, a disapproving girlfriend, and lots of random good looking people who populate the parts of the movie when Bradley Cooper is successful.

So far, it's pretty average.  Entertaining, but average.  And just when you think it's going to be another moralistic tale, it takes a turn towards an extremely satisfying conclusion the likes of which aren't seen in American drug movies.   It's then that I realized why the trailers for this movie completely downplayed the whole drug angle in favor of the science fiction aspects.  If people knew what this movie advocated, they would be morally outraged.  That outrage would be ridiculous and completely without merit, but this is America, so being uninformed and furious is expected.  Watch it and see for yourself.  Tell me I'm wrong.